Suffer in silence

3 months of being together and still counting. 

Wake up call. Again

What I have now will against me once I’m doing my degree. Haih. It hit me really hard. A long-convo in the kitchen w the cousin while drinking orange juice made me realizes more things. Things are getting more bizarre. I can’t believe I didn’t think of this before. It’s hard for me to ditch everything now. But the longer I stay, the burden for me to leave them is freakishhly big. I’ll be so guilty. No feelings are meant to be harm, in the first place. Now, it’s already grew in me. How can I ever do this? Degree is supposed to be my platform. I mean, the original plan. But it happened unconditionally now, I didn’t expect all this. Contract? I don’t want to be labeled THAT. I can’t control what’s gonna happen nor the future. Only those whom I told them about this, would understand. I just want my future to be guaranteed, that’s all. When it comes to studies, I don’t like to mess around with them. Hmm. Or am I overthinking a lil bit too much? Sigh. What can I do, I want the best for me in the future, and that starts from now. I can’t do whatever I wish for, take things for granted bla bla bla bla~ A lot of things is running through my mind. Gonna continue this another time. 


x. - Adriana 

@.@

Things about him. The longer I know him, getting to know him. In that process of knowing each other. He’s so clueless about almost EVERYTHING? No joke. Sometimes I feel like giving him a really good knock in the head. Literally knock some senses into him. Sengal sengal something like that lah. Sigh. I, sometimes, don’t really know what’s in his head. He’s driving me insane and at the same time, I find him cute though with all the things going on his head. But still, I’m so crazy in love. Despite his flaws, I love him no matter what :)

Let’s talk.

The moment when your past suddenly comes haunting you back. The uneasy emotional feeling struck. Memories, once were a good memory then turns to a bad memory. As time passes. It hits me really hard. As if someone is punching you right in the face. I’ve moved on long time ago. But, the memories never fail to come back though. Turning back in time just for THAT memories sounds so unpleasant. It would be so unfair. Then again, thanks to thee memories, I’m a stronger person. 

Moving on,

Apparently I have the most wonderful person as my boyfriend. He’s just perfect for me. I couldn’t ask for more. I love him to the core.

Time flies. Guess what, 2 months had passed :)

Hello?

It had been awhile I haven’t updated my tumbr since my last post that was in November, I guess? Well, I’ve been really busy with college and had a very hard time getting proper connection. While I’m having sucha good mood of updating, so listen up :)

I’m sitting for my finals for this current semester. So, lot of things going on here and there. I just had Islamic studies’s paper, earlier today. All I can say is that, it was kinda hard. Ahhhhh, I’ve put all my hard work in the essays. I hope I’ll pass. Amin. 4 more paper to go! 

Really can’t wait for semester break. Once I’m done with my finals, Helloooooo bikini, sand and shades! Me and my babes have planned a getaway just us and only us. Been looking forward to it ever since months back.  

Despite that, I’m currently listening to John Legend’s song. It’s the first after a long time I haven’t listen to his songs. Relaxing, really.  

Neutral

I feel nothing now. Like I’ve always wanted.

Boom.

Tough love. Hate. Discrimination. Unappreciated. Cursing. Hurt. Unproductive. Each other’s neck. Uneasy. Devastated. Screw everything. Breaking stuffs. Anger

Yeah, I’d exaggerate things. That’s what I’m feeling right now. Crying is so yesterday. 

…

This feeling is about to burst. Should I let it out? Should I tell you what I feel towards you? Maybe I shouldn’t. Ah wait, I won’t. Why won’t you tell me what you feel? Yes, you got me hanging.

Aha

Untung lah ada orang sayang.